Laughter's Best Medicine: Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes
So, you’ve made it through a tough week, and you’re here for the best thing you can find: laughter. Why? Because sober humor is the finest kind of humor, especially when it comes to Alcoholics Anonymous jokes. Recovery can be tough, but why not make it a little lighter with some good old-fashioned laughter? Get ready for some jokes that’ll have you laughing so hard, you might need to take a deep breath… or two. Let’s get started with some jokes that’ll help you laugh your way through your journey!
Table of Contents
Best Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes
Why did the alcoholic bring a ladder to AA?
He heard the program helps you rise above it all!
I asked an alcoholic how he felt about his AA meetings.
He said, “It’s like a breath of fresh air, but without the hangover.”
Why did the alcoholic refuse to go to yoga?
He couldn’t handle any more downward-facing dog.
I told an alcoholic that sobriety was a journey.
He said, “I’d prefer a cab, thank you.”
Why don’t alcoholics play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’ve been drinking all day.
What’s an alcoholic’s favorite type of music?
Rock and roll… but only after the third drink.
I heard AA is great, but it takes a lot of guts to show up.
At least you know your stomach won’t be the only thing turning.
Why do alcoholics always make great chefs?
They know how to cook up trouble, but with a side of sobriety.
What’s an alcoholic’s favorite exercise?
The walk of shame… but with a little less shame.
Why are AA meetings the best?
Because where else can you drink coffee at 3 PM and actually call it progress?
Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t about judging;
it’s about understanding… and maybe a little bit of understanding why the bartender never remembers your name.
Why did the alcoholic bring a pencil to his meeting?
He was trying to draw a line between himself and his old life.
At AA meetings, they say to take it one day at a time.
For alcoholics, that’s a marathon – but at least it’s not a drinking marathon.
Why don’t alcoholics like playing cards?
They can’t handle the “shuffle” without reaching for a drink.
The first step in AA is admitting you have a problem.
The second step? Realizing you left your keys at the bar.
AA meetings are like a good cocktail:
it takes a mix of support, humor, and a dash of caffeine to get you through.
Dirty Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes
Why don’t alcoholics ever have dirty thoughts?
Because their minds are too busy being blurry.
I asked an alcoholic if he wanted to go skinny dipping.
He said, “Only if there’s a bottle of whiskey involved!”
What do alcoholics say when they have an itch?
“I can’t scratch it, I’m in recovery!”
Alcoholics Anonymous meetings should come with a warning:
“May cause uncontrollable laughter… and a slight buzz.”
Why did the alcoholic break up with his girlfriend?
She wanted him sober, but he just wanted to wine and dine.
How do alcoholics flirt?
With a drink in one hand and a sobering compliment in the other.
I heard an alcoholic say,
“I don’t need a drink… but a little bit of whiskey wouldn’t hurt.”
Alcoholics love staying up all night.
It’s not because they can’t sleep – it’s just because their next drink is never too far away.
What’s an alcoholic’s favorite pick-up line?
“Are you a shot of tequila? Because you make me forget my problems.”
How do alcoholics show affection?
With a toast to love… and maybe a bit too much champagne.
Alcoholics’ idea of a “clean slate”
is simply wiping the glass and pouring another round.
Why do alcoholics take such long showers?
They’re washing away their sins… and their sobriety.
I asked an alcoholic about his future plans.
He said, “I’m just here for the beer… and the beer only.”
What do you call an alcoholic who’s also a hopeless romantic?
A drunk in love.
Why do alcoholics never feel lonely?
They always have a bottle to keep them company.
Alcoholics don’t kiss and tell,
but they sure do sip and spill!
Funny Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes
How many alcoholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes a whole group to remind him to turn it off.
Why did the alcoholic take up knitting?
He figured it was time to untangle his life… one stitch at a time.
What’s an alcoholic’s idea of a diet? Water,
but only if it’s in a fancy glass with a lime.
Why did the alcoholic bring a snorkel to the meeting?
He was ready to dive deep into his feelings.
An alcoholic walks into an AA meeting, looks around, and says,
“So, who’s buying the first round?”
What’s the most common pickup line at AA meetings?
“Do you believe in love at first sip?”
Why don’t alcoholics mind being late to meetings?
They just call it fashionably sober.
I met an alcoholic who was really into self-improvement.
He said his biggest challenge was trying to stay sober while Googling how to mix the perfect martini.
Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are like a game show:
“Guess who’s got a problem this time!”
I’ve heard of being drunk in love,
but when you’re sober and in love, it’s a whole different buzz.
Why do alcoholics love comedy clubs?
It’s the only place where they can laugh and drink… coffee.
Alcoholics Anonymous: Where the only thing stronger
than the coffee is the determination to stay sober.
Why did the alcoholic refuse to tell a secret?
He said it was too hard to keep it in a bottle.
At AA meetings, they say, “Take one day at a time.
” The alcoholic says, “One hour works for me.”
Why did the alcoholic take a nap at the meeting?
He was trying to sleep off his past.
Alcoholics Anonymous meetings: Where you can check in,
check out, and still have fun with your friends.
Cute Alcoholics Anonymous Jokes
I walked into AA looking for a cure,
But I found a family instead… and they all love coffee!
At AA, the only thing stronger than the support is the coffee
And that’s saying a lot!
AA is where I realized that some problems can’t be solved with alcohol…
But coffee makes it better.
I may be sober now,
But I’m still addicted to the kindness I get at AA meetings.
AA meetings are like hugs in a room
Full of people who understand what you’ve been through.
When I joined AA, I thought I’d get sober, but instead,
I got a group of friends who make me smile every day.
At AA, we don’t judge…
We just laugh and sip our coffee together.
You know what’s sweeter than sobriety?
The friendships you make at AA.
I came to AA looking for a change,
But I didn’t expect the laughter and love that came with it.
The best part of AA?
Finding support when you least expect it, and a whole lot of coffee.
At AA, we all start as strangers…
But somehow, we end up as family.
I thought AA would be full of sad faces… but it turns out,
It’s just a bunch of people sharing their stories and coffee.
AA is where I found out the only thing stronger
Than my willpower is the bond between us all.
I used to think the best part of AA was quitting alcohol…
Now I think it’s the warm hugs and coffee!
At AA, everyone is a hero
Even the person who brings in the best cookies.
Sobriety brought me peace,
But it was AA that gave me the laughter to go with it.
Jokes for Her
Are you a whiskey shot?
Because you’ve got me feeling all warm inside.
Are you a bottle of wine?
Because I’m already falling for you, corks and all.
Are you sober?
Because you’ve been the highlight of my day.
You must be the AA meeting,
because I think you could help me recover from this crush.
Do you believe in love at first sip,
or should I take you to another meeting?
Are we at an AA meeting,
or did I just get hooked on you?
Are you a cocktail?
Because every time I see you, I get a little buzzed.
Do you need a sponsor?
Because I think you’re the one I want to spend forever with.
I’m just trying to stay sober,
but I can’t stop thinking about you.
I think I’ve found my recovery plan,
and it starts with you.
You don’t need a drink to get noticed
You’re already intoxicating.
Do you have a map?
Because I’ve been lost in your eyes since the moment we met.
Are you my sponsor?
Because you’re helping me recover from loneliness.
I may be in recovery,
But I’m still falling for you.
Is your name Whiskey?
Because I can’t seem to get enough of you.
Let’s skip the drinks and go straight to the love;
I think we’re already on the same page.
Jokes for Him
Are you my sponsor?
Because I need you to keep me sober from this crush!
Is it the AA meeting,
or did you just take my breath away?
Are you a cocktail?
Because I can’t stop thinking about you, shaken, not stirred.
I don’t need a drink to feel high
Just being near you does that for me.
Are you a sober man,
or should I start making my own steps towards you?
You must be the first step in recovery,
Because I’m falling for you already.
You’re the best kind of buzz,
The kind that stays long after the meeting ends.
They say “one day at a time,”
but all I want is to spend every moment with you.
Do you need a partner for the recovery process?
I’m already hooked on you.
You’ve got me feeling intoxicated,
But I swear, it’s all you.
Are we at an AA meeting,
Or did I just fall for you in one step?
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you,
I’d be rich in love.
Are you my recovery journey?
Because you’re the reason I’m staying sober.
Let’s forget the past;
I’m ready to start a new chapter with you.
You may not be a drink,
But you’ve got me buzzed all the same.
Who needs a drink when being around you
Is already enough to make my heart race?
Conclusion
In the midst of challenges, humor shines as a beacon of hope. Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t just about battling addiction; it’s about finding a new way of living, connecting, and laughing along the way. These jokes celebrate not just the triumphs but also the little moments of joy in the journey. Because sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine, and in the case of AA, it’s what makes the road to recovery just a little bit brighter. Keep laughing, keep supporting, and remember, the best is yet to come
